Never meant to hurt you

I never meant to hurt you
But I did and now you're gone
My true feelings I never said
I regret it each and every new dawn
Maybe if I told you
how I really felt
You'd probably still be here
but with my problems I hadn't dealt
The things I said weren't true
and I know it hurt
Because it has been said to me too
The rejection, the pain, harsh language I used
All in one sitting it felt like you were abused....
I know how you felt when I spit that stream of hateful words
And self-consciously done what I knew was the worse
You cried when I did it, I wanted to cry too
But my soul would not let me...I'd look like a fool
Yelling and shouting when I knew I was wrong
I wanted to say sorry but you have been gone for so long
It was all my fault that you went away
Took that sharp knife
And left us all in dismay
I came home that dreary, gray and awful night
And much to my unhappiness you were nowhere in sight
I climbed the cherry stained stairs way up to the very top
My heart racing and felt almost like it were doing flip flops
The only noise I heard was the sound of my feet hitting the floor
Your room was so near...I could almost open the door
But I stopped because I couldn't...frozen to that one spot
And to my surprise behind me I heard drip drip drop
The bathroom door was nearly opened and the light was on I could tell
And what I found in there made the rest of my life a living Hell
I slowly swung it open and there I fell to my knees
Why God?! Why? Do not let this be real...PLEASE!
There you were scattered on the ground like a toy thrown aside
I fell beside you and cried...cried like I have never cried
You're skin was cold and lips were blue
Pink, yellow, and white pills surrounded you
Your heart had stopped beating and your eyes were shut tight
I glanced up to the ceiling staring into the light
Why can it not be me that has to die instead
I thought of ways to end my own life... Maybe one shot in the head
But now I live for only deathPlease God just end my pain.
Why should I live for things I know I'll never again gain
I found you with that knife that you called your only friend
I am sorry for all I ever did....but this is.......
THE END

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