Looking out through tear-filled eyes,
Confused and lost in this lie-filled world.
Longing, hoping as I look at the skies,
Will I ever understand what I feel?
I feel love and yet I feel hate,
I don't understand how it went so wrong.
I though when we met that it was fate;
He was the one that saved my life.
I wish I could understand what I did wrong,
what I did to deserve this pain.
I have been fighting for so long,
but now pain and heartbreak is taking over me.
Longing to be perfect, beautiful, and thin,
my thoughts are controlled by someone else.
Telling of my pain I don't know where to begin,
but I guess it ended then started again with him.
Why can't I understand what's happening to me?
I am becoming a completely different girl.
In some ways it's the girl I want to be,
but in others I wish I could stop.
He took my pain away but then broke my heart,
I had begun to feel happy and not fake my smiles.
He put me back together than tore me apart,
but he doesn't even realize what he's done.
Someday I hope to understand this life,
I want to understand the meaning of pain and love.
I want to be able to ignore the knife,
that longs to punish my every mistake.
