Before you go

-A L0NG LETTER N0T A P0EM[:-

Can you tell me how to open up for another person& love them the same way I loved you? & Can you teach me the tricks you used to get over the feeling? & how you finally got yourself to be happy& live your own life without the person who used to be in it? Because it seems like I`m still crying every night about you and for you to come back in my life.& I`m still wishing that you`re the one hugging me& holding my hand that fits perfectly between yours.& I`m still searching for a way to get you back, but I know...when you fall out of love, it's almost impossible to fall back in again. I`m sorry but I just can`t stop myself from wanting to hear the sound of your voice& feel the warmness of your arms around mine. Because believe it or not, I couldn`t really stop loving you. I know it was me who let you go& it was me who pushed your love away. Because it was me who lied to myself, who lied to you about who my heart was beating for. I`m about to take my leave, but you`ll always be in my heart. But will you answer me honestly? Are you willing to turn around& give love another try? Or are you just gonna walk away from the pain i`ve caused? I know we`ve tried this for so many times but this time i`ll make it last as long as I can, i`ll make it true. Because I can`t stand living& waking up in the morning knowing, that there`s no us anymore. I know you`re asking yourself the same question again. "She`s saying the same things she told me before, I don`t know if any of this stuff is true anymore." I don`t blame you for thinking that way. But I realized how much I love you right at the second I tried secluding you from my life. I`ll never sleep tight until you tell me what you want. Is this really over? No more love stories about us? Will you tell me to stop? So I can force myself to face the fact that another special someone who loved me for who i am, is gone away because of my own mistake. So I can force myself to move on since it was my fault, it`s always my fault. I took your love for granted& only realized how loved I was in the end. I`m sorry& I will always be sorry. You can write back or burn this letter of mine, burn it with all the memories we spent together, with all the love we shared, the rough times we had. So you can move on with your life& pretend that we`ve never met in our past. I will sadly do the same for the best, I will pretend that we have never met in this world, but in my dreams. I`m not expecting you to write back, but I will be waiting. Even if it will take months& years, you know I am willing to wait that long.