Try and Hold on

by allison   Dec 5, 2005


You sit there smiling like nothing is wrong
Laughing, chatting bobbing your head to that song

All your friends, Think your great
But they will just have to wait

Remember to keep your head up, till your safe in your room
You get there and die, all alone in your very own tomb

You know you wont last living like this
Everyday your feelings, hit and miss

Remember the days when smiling was easy
But now even grinning can make you queasy

You just wish someone could tell you your fine
But there is no one too turn to, time to draw the line

No turning back, the knife is in your hand
Anyways, how much more could you possibly stand

Some of your friends just turning there heads
They think your crazy, on some sort of meds

You finally show how your really feel
Then realize which friends are fake and which are real

As hard as it is, just try and hold on
Even though no one is there, you are never to far gone

** I wrote this awhile ago for a friend who though there was no point going on. I gues it is pretty awful but tell me what you think. Please Rate and comment, I will return the favor!
xxoo
Allison**

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    This is really good Allison.

  • 18 years ago

    by Lily

    Touching and sad i think that alot of people go through that moment when they don't feel like going on it just takes a friend to remind that person, that you need them here and it's them that keeps you going on...liked this poem alot thanks for your comments.

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    I like this poem. it is very good. the structure and rhyme is good and the emotion is very pronounsed

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    It's a very sad poem, and I can feel your words. I don't know which part you think is bad, because I quite liked it. It is saddening and painful, but in a way quite encouraging too because it seems a desperate plea to hold on and ignore the hate around.
    I must say however, you have some of your homophones mixed up. Just remember "you’re" means you are and "your" is belonging to someone. "To" is towards someone or something e.g. "I'm going to the park," and "too" is another word for also and in addition. Keep this in mind and may be edit where it's needed.
    Good job though.

  • 18 years ago

    by t i f f a n y ♥

    I hate to sound, I don't know, mean, maybe.. but there are some typos in your poem. I don't know if you even care, but I had to say something. College English is doing something to me! Sorry! Lol. Other than that, great job.

    Tiffany.xox.

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