My pain so high, by blood so red

I can not deal with this anymore
my dad was taken from me
mother hates me
she sees what she wants
does not even notice i reek of smoke
my sister could not care less
i just want to escape this life
many think i lie about how bad it is
but i truly am not lying
i was abused physically and verbally
just by my father though
if it was not for him i would have a perfect life
he was addicted to drugs
like I'm addicted to drugs and alcohol
i guess father like daughter right?
well now I'm in deeper
my friends got me off cutting
i drink twice as much i did before
half the time i can not even think without vodka - it is my life
it is pretty sad when school is a get away for you
my home life stinks
everyone leaves me everyday
they call me a WHO0re and a SK@NJ
when i walk out of the house
why do i deserve this
every night i ask myself why me

now i know why i do not believe in god
because why would he make me suffer like this
if hes so great and helps everyone
am i the forgotten child in this world
i just feel like everyone is out to get me
they all just want to kill me for being different

I'm glad my friends gave me vodka that night
because now I'm an alcoholic at the age of 13
Ive smoked more stuff than you all will probably see all your life
your body feels so helpless
so numb, i feel invincible

at least i know what i truly am
just another suicidal teen
slipping through the cracks
of no return. . .

[[ yeah this may be the last poem i write if one more thing goes wrong]]