Overseas, so far away

I have my doubts,
About me, about you,
About us.

I know I love you,
I know you love me,
But I have my doubts about everything.

Some days, I feel
As if life would be better
If I never loved you.

I feel I worry too much.
I feel I care too much
When I shouldn't.

I'm just a confused girl.
In a big world,
Looking out for myself.
While you're a million miles away.

I hope this hasn't ruined
our friendship; us,
But nothing really is going
to be the same.

I don't know how long
its going to last,
I feel like you really care.
And I don't wanna hurt you.

I love you,
but I think its best I get over you.
I think maybe I'm partially afraid.
You're too far away.

Afraid of maybe loving you too much
And then not being able to be with you..
Afraid that I'll hurt,
Like I've never hurt before.

I know that me pushing you away
May lose you forever.
But I want my life to go back
To the way it was.

Before I was like this,
before you,
before I cared,
before I learned to love.

I miss myself,
and fear I'm alone.
I know you're there,
but really for how long?

I guess, that this poem
is never going to be read by you,
Because I know I'll never show you.

I'm sorry.
You've trusted me too much.
You care about me too much.

I don't feel I trust you enough.
But I honestly care about you.
You're someone different,
someone I love.

Thank you,
for staying the time you have.
I love you.
But overseas relationships don't work.

I don't feel its going to last.
The spark is going.
Never blame yourself for anything.
Everything is always my fault.

Thank you for being you.
Thank you for letting me love you.
You're the best.
You'll always have a special place in my heart.

~~~~
All my poems are dedicated to my friends because they inspire me, and they mean the world to me.

I wrote this poem a few months ago, when I was in a confused state of mind.

Thank you for reading and please comment. Its nice to know there's people out there :)

Love is complicated.