My Whole World In My Hand

I know that this is long, but it would be much appreciated if you would read it and then vote and comment at the end... =) Thank yooou xxx

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It feels like it's been so long
Since I've sat down here with you
I'm sorry that I've been so distant..
But I don't know what to do

I can't handle the thought of you leaving
Why do you have to die
How am I going to cope without you
I don't want to have to cry

As I sit beside you here
I hold my whole world in my hand
Your eyes however remain closed
Yet I stay seated and do not stand

I'm sorry that I haven't visited
That I haven't been here by your side
But seeing you like this kills me
And the tears keep filling my eyes

My hand firmly grasps yours
I'm not going to let you die
I need you here with me
I'm not going to have to cry

Yet a single tear falls down my cheek
And it drips onto your hand
My grasp slowly loosens
And I quietly begin to stand

I back away from your bedside
My hands hold my head
My knees buckle beneath me
And I fall to the ground instead

A year of sorrow escapes my soul
As the tears flow from my eyes
I have to face reality
Eventually you're going to die

If only you knew that I care
But I was too shy to let it show
Instead, we were just friends
And now I guess you'll never know

I slowly sit down again
And once more your hand I grasp
I try to imagine life without you
But for me, it's an impossible task

I can't think the unthinkable
And I can't make you stay with me
But I wish you'd live forever
And I wish I could set you free

This coma that you lay in
It was caused by your own self-hate
You took too many pills
And this is the twisted side of fate

If only I had been there that night
To stop you from being so low
To stop the devil from winning
To finally have let you know

But I wasn't there with you that night
And so now you are here with me
And never again will I feel your warmth
And never again your smile will I see

I wish for one more day
Just to have let you know
How much you truly mean to me
I just wish I had let it show

So I hold your hand in mine now
Knowing that soon you will be taken from me
I want you to know that I love you
And forever that's the way it will be

I look up to your face
And I gently kiss your cheek
A single tear again falls from my eye
And I can feel my legs become weak

A lump forms in my throat
As I look at you again
The doctor says you're passing
But how can I lose my best friend

My heart skips a beat
As I feel you grip my hand
I look at you in wonder
And I quickly begin to stand

Your eyes slowly open
And again my tears begin to flow
I kiss you on your lips and I realise,
This is my chance to let it show

But I can tell from your eyes that you're weak
You won't be with me for long
Yet I quickly say 'I love you'
And I try to right all of my wrongs

Your finger touches my lips
And you tell me to be still
I again take my seat beside you
And listen with all my will

You kiss my hand that holds my world
You tell me that this is true
You say the words I've longed to hear
The words you love me too

Your hand loses its grip
I cry out for you in pain
Yet I know that it's now time..
And I know your love will still remain

I look into your eyes
And you tell me to be strong
I kiss you one last time
And it's then that I know you're gone...

Your eyes slowly close
And in one moment my world disappears
Yet I hold onto your hand
And I cry a million tears

I know that you are gone
But you'll forever be with me
Because I'll love you deeply always
And I know that now you are finally free

© ShatteredAngel 2005