Turn you away

Out of the blue I find myself here ready to be strong,
No longer disorientated I feel like I belong
I’m born to try to get through everything with a smile,
Even if I’m lost for words or I’m feeling fragile.
Once I stood right there waiting for the pain to go away,
But I can not live like that any longer, the hurt seemed to stay.
Feeling like the analyst, I considered every option there,
Though each seemed so hard to do, I decided I don’t care.
In my own time I felt my big mistake was ready to be rectified,
I once thought nobody listened but I now know I never tried.
My extraordinary day came a little too late,
I stood; hollow no more, ready to meet my fate.
Thinking this is not me, no it’s not me, not I
But here I am about to change just like a butterfly.
Ready to throw it away I wrote down my thoughts on this
“If I forget what miscommunication felt like, it’s the opposite of bliss,”
I’m sick of being predictable, the end of this almost here,
I was sick of running away and living life in fear.
A year ago today, I would have never done these things,
But in that beautiful madness I could not visualise what honesty brings.
But this is how a dream looks, looking at the world through innocent eyes,
Free from my mistaken identity, and the riddle of despise.
So now I know when it feels like the last night on earth, through an electric storm,
I can escape to my sanctuary of truth, ready for things to be warm.