Walking Contradiction

I am a walking contradiction
I am the opposite of everything that I am

I am alone
Yet I surround myself with everyone

I loath people
Yet I love to be around them

I am a loner
While I am the life of the party

Center of attention.
In my own world

I try to be different
While still being "in"

I hate that I love
I hate that I hate

I want to be happy
But I search for wrong

I cry when I am alone
Yet push some away

I believe I am a good catch
But don't think someone could love me forever

My heart is big
But I am selfish

What I need, I don't want
What I want, I can't have

When I can have it
I lose interest

I don't try hard enough
To be what I want

I struggle to be
Me

I don't know what i want
But I know who I am

Sometimes