Great poem. the only part of it that slightly sounded weird was the part where you said "Is in his rule all day" just a suggestion but putting "of in place of "all" might make it flow better. all just seems to throw off the balance of night day that you are explaining. If you like it use if if not don't just trying to help. Awsome work.

Short, but very refreshing poem. The only thing you could change is that several of the ending words are the same...Day bay..etc. Keep it up

Great poem i thought it was awesome i wouldn't change anything about it

XXXKayla