They Look At Me

Sorry for the double post but i missed something...ooooops...lol.

Ok girl here is my power critique...
now i thought thepoem was great so what i did was sort of structure it different o see how creative i could get!!...here it goes...

They look at me and they see beauty.
They don't see sagging eyes.
They look at me and they see smiles.
They don't see burning hate.
They look at me and they see fitness.
They don't hear stomach growls.
They look at me and they see health.
They don't see lack of nutrition.

I look at them
I see their starving soul.
I look at them
I see their thirst for life.
I look at them
I see their hollow eyes.
I look at them
I see their fragile bones.
But then again I look at them and I see hopes.
I look at them
I see wistful dreams.
I look at them
I see hearts of love.
I look at them
I see what I used to see in me

Ok girl here is my power critique...
now i thought thepoem was great so what i did was sort of structure it different o see how creative i could get!!...here it goes...

They look at me and they see beauty.
They don't see sagging eyes.
They look at me and they see smiles.
They don't see burning hate.
They look at me and they see fitness.
They don't hear stomach growls.
They look at me and they see health.
They don't see lack of nutrition.

I look at them and I see their starving soul.
I look at them and I see their thirst for life.
I look at them
I see their hollow eyes.
I look at them
I see their fragile bones.
But then again I look at them and I see hopes.
I look at them
I see wistful dreams.
I look at them
I see hearts of love.
I look at them
I see what I used to see in me

Coolies!! I woved it!! *hugs her* You're so talented!!

Interesting. what exactly is it about? i like it
sammi x