My life.(not finished)

The only memories i hold of my mother.
Are those full of abuse from my mother and step father.
At night i sit awake and dream
For years all i wanted to do was scream
For all the abuse i have taken
For the attention, everyone thought i was faking.
I cried and i cried
I tried and i Tried.
As the years would slowly pass
The abuse would slowly grow to a great mass.
I wonder even to this day
why did i even stay..
How can a human body take so much pain
Why had my pillows been tear stained?
I slowly began to fall apart
i tried to run..they were just too smart..
They relized i had tried to run
They took away all of my fun..
Tey than took the lock off my door
I began to wonder..\'\'What For?\'\'
I remember my mom\'s late night visits
Down to each and every one of her hit\'s.
I remember she held me down
All i could do is cry with a frown..
As my stepfater began to stick it in
Over the ear\'s i realized, i will never win..
Struggle after Struggle
Tear after Tear

At the age of six my modeling career had a start
I would have stayed out..if i was smart.
Soon did i rezlize my mother had controlled me
You can blame her on how i came out to be.
For all of the money i had made..
She was the one who had been paid
Over the years
after so many more tears..
She began to grow furious
Little did i know..she was serious
One day we had a big fight
around the age of seven or eight.
She grabbed a knnife and held it in hand.
she stabbed me.. i collapsed, i could barely stand.
I covered my wound and i pushed her away..
Stabbed in the lung..side to side i sway.
As i collapsed to the floor
I cant bare anymore.
I wished and i wished with all of my might
as the sense of vision had vanished.
I begged and begged for god to strike upon me..
i was so close ti dead my vision bluuered,i couldent see.
I remember my father bursting through the door
I wondered what he had in store.
Turns out my mom told him a lie..
He believed it..he was just too damn high.
As the ambulance sirens had echoed in my mind
I sat in quiet and in unconciousness wondering if my heart,,is what i can ever find.
I remember waking up the next day
With a note on my head..all it said was dont play.
Even the cotor had been gulliable.
I feel like a fool..

On my ninth birthday..she drowned me in a pool
Thankgod my brother walked out,,
Even though he was short and stout.
Again..she lied
He beleived her..even to this day im rather stupafied.
Later that year i remember her standing over me
why do i even believe me..
She made sure i was awake and began to cut
She made me feel like a dirty mut.
Slices and slices would break my skin.
Shes going to hell, all she had done is a sin.
As my blood hit the floor she went quicker
with each and every cut my blood got thicker.
My eyes began to get glazed
she surely went crazed.