One Of " Those Types"

I told myself it would never come to this.
I would never really hurt myself.

But after everything thats happened
It really doesn't matter anymore.

Even though it hurts,
Its the only pain that feels good.

Its the only thing that I can control.
Its the only pain I have control over.

No matter what happens in my life,
I hold the power of this.

I always said"I'm not that TYPE"
Well no one is really "this type."

I feel its the only thing i can do,
But others have other reasons for it too,

When I hurt, its cuz of others.
But when I do it, its cuz of me!

No one makes me do it,
But I do, its my only way out!