Soft sobs grow louder,
and voices are raising.
The night is setting in,
and the storm is about to begin.
It's twisting and turning,
not allowing mercy for anyone,
or anything.
Your words grow loud,
unbearable to my ears.
Tears of pain flow down my softened skin,
as you begin to cry too.
Then it happens,
and those poisonous words you speak,
they're like venom to me.
They spear me like a sword into my flesh,
as I look on you now with sadness growing.
All you can do is watch,
your head lowers and you walk turn from me.
Walking out of that door.
You walk out of my life.
Days pass,
I eat nothing,
I sleep less.
Going deeper into the darkness,
the depression setting in now.
As I lay in my bed,
waiting for nothing.
My desires,
my dreams,
hopes and everything else faded away.
I feel nothing,
Nor do I want anything.
The only comfort to help me heal is You.
But that's not an option.
But then,
a day comes and you crawl back to me.
You apologize,
and say you were wrong.
I don't trust you,
for what you've done to be before.
How you just threw me away in only a matter of minutes.
I begin to sob,
remembering that conversation.
Remembering that feeling of utter uselessness,
and that feeling of sickness.
I don't want it to be like it was,
I want it to be better.
And for those words,
you reassured me.
You told me it'd be different,
four days of misery filled us both.
And then you crawled back to me.
So to this you promised,
it'd be different,
and we'd be happy,
together once more.
I agree and accept your proposal,
to be us again.
Only a few days pass,
and we're happier than ever.
That emptiness in me is gone,
for what felt like forever ago that I had felt it.
Those four days were torture,
the kind I never wanted to suffer again.
And then it happened again.
You crushed my dreams,
all my hopes and feelings gone.
Numbing me to the world again,
as I felt no pain now.
Tears in my eyes,
I scream where no one can hear,
in the void of my mind.
Where depression leaks in,
as hopelessness and despair have already been bound.
My weakness is your love,
and your words are my poison.
I grow sad,
and I feel useless,
like a dirty towel someone just threw on the floor.
Or a tissue with one's snot all over it,
crumpled and tossed aside for someone else to pick up.
These feelings,
the ones that you've caused me to have.
They'll never subside,
maybe just long enough for me to think,
but then they're back in a flash.
Not a moment too late.
But now you're with her,
and it kills me to see you two.
Although she's one of my best friends,
it's just so hard,
painful if you will,
to see the two of you happy,
free and together,
like eagles in the sky.
Maybe a day will come and when you turn around,
you'll want to see me;
you'll expect to see me and I won't be there.
No,
I won't be there for when you realize your feelings,
and if you follow your heart.
Maybe you'll find your way to me,
and if there's still any good and love in the world,
we'll find a way to be.
And maybe there won't be a sad ending,
to this on going love story.
