Moving On

For some time now,
I've been at war with myself.
And with you.
But now it's time to put it behind me,
and move on with my life.
My friends are right,
I don't need you to be happy anymore.
I don't need your comfort,
or your lies and fake love.
You're gone,
out of the picture.
You're nothing to me anymore,
other than a memory.
Sure I may miss you,
but I'm not going to let you do this to me anymore.
I'm not going to let you destroy me,
and what's left of my emotions.

For so long I've torn myself apart,
beat myself down.
And no longer will I do that,
I'm numb to you,
numb to the world.
I only seek comfort,
and refuge in my dreams.
Somehow I keep finding the courage,
and the strength to move on.
Never giving in to the temptation,
of a quick slice to my wrist.
I know it doesn't help,
and it won't solve anything.
I got myself into this mess,
I can get myself out.

I no longer need your pity,
your sympathy.
Those apologetic looks,
and the snide remarks you conjure.
I am so much better than that,
I don't need you any more.
I can find better if I tried.
But the truth is,
I don't want to let go of what he had just yet.
But I refuse to give in,
I refuse to fall into such a depression,
that it completely devours me in my darkest hour.
Although it's already taken me in it's arms,
like a newborn child in it's mother's.
Silently I wait for the light;
Oh that shimmering,
bright light that soothes me.
That helps me see,
it helps me realize that why our relationship ended,
it wasn't my fault.
And that if anyone was to blame,
it was just as much your fault as it was mine.
That bright light is coming,
to lead me from darkness.
To illuminate my way back into reality,
to find my friends,
and feel that familiar feeling of happiness again.

Oh how I long to feel happy,
to be happy.
It's been so long since I have been.
So long since my last unforgettable high.
The night you told me you loved me.
But now it's all just a swift memory.
As I'm lead back into the reality of life,
I see my friends.
I go to them,
standing before the people that I've known for so long.
I smile.
I smile a smile so wide,
so broad and full of pleasure and happiness,
and nothing short of it.
It scares them for a moment,
but then they see.
That this burden that has gripped me for so long,
it has finally been lifted.
I am set free.
And so are you,
no longer are we bound together emotionally,
nor physically or officially.
We are both free,
free from this dark despair that we both suffered.
We are now able to soar high above the clouds,
like innocent butterflies,
high against the sky.