Beauty in the Walking

Much better and yeah the second spoon can still work. although you did misspell the word lol. other than that i liked the changes it sounds really good. The last thing is if she is reallly in to english you might want to throw a few more bigger words in there like synonyms for some of the shorter ones. That will extend your vocabulary to the furthest point. Also before you give it to her read it a hundred times making sure you have no spelling or grammer mistakes cause i'm sure she'll catch that. Don't worry too much about it though it's a really good poem and i think she'll love it the way it is. Best of luck to ya and keep me informed

I thought this was a very good poem only thing that boggled my mind was the first stanza that most of your rymes were the same. If that was meant to be than great job but if your looking for a little help on the rhymes check out www.rhymezone.com they have rhymes for everything. Other than that i really did love the poem and thought that your vocabulary was great and all other rhyming flowed very well and overall i like the pattern, i know how hard keeping a pattern is and you did it well. keep it up! C ya