Suicide

I cut myself to feel something at last.
It broke the chill of memories past.

And I bled and bled from these wounds so deep
and watched blood trickle, drip and creep.

Down my wrist and past my hand; dripping down a finger.
A red drop drips a drop and on the carpet a red stain lingers.

I close my eyes and think back in time
through the haze and blur of heart break's grime.

And beyond the mist I saw my fate
A life lived alone without a mate.

So without a thought I cut again
to bring this worthless life to an end.

My heart begins to pound and race
as I usher in death's embrace.

I feel so cold and yet so calm,
the warmth of my love drips down my palms

and gathers beneath me in puddle form...
my last tribute to a life conformed.

Conformed to believe that I was something good,
and that there was someone somewhere who understood,

and who knew me better then I knew myself...
But I left that fairytale long ago on the shelf.

Smiles and laughs all fade away
though it seemed like only yesterday

When I had hope of something greater
and I was in love with my Creator.

But no more do I feel this love
No more do I believe in perfect love.

No more beauty do my eyes percieve.
No more hope can my mind concieve.

No more faith can my spirit grasp!
No more life...i'm slipping fast.

My eyes close slowy then open again.
So this is how my life will end?

I lay there staring up at the ceiling,
my legs begin to lose all feeling.

My tongue goes numb and my eyes roll.
The stress of it all has taken it's toll.

Alone I die with no appreciation...
but I know it did it just to get attention.

I slump over and labor a final breathe.
My eyes close for the last time as I slip into eternal death.