I miss you

Sometimes when I'm sitting alone in my room I think about how much i hate you for leaving me but then i start to cry for even thinking that i love you and miss you so much sometimes I don't think i can live without you but i know you would want me to try and to be as happy as i can and to think that you in a better place but its so hard when i seen your body on the floor with the gun next to your hand i wanted to put the gun to my head to but i couldn't because i knew you wouldn't want me to i just wish i could hug, kiss and at least say goodbye to you one last time and tell you how much i really did care and tell you if you needed anyone to talk to i will always be there but its to late your gone but i will keep a smile on my face for you and remember all the times we had together and whenever i need to talk to you i know your up there looking down on all of us