Confusion

Here I sit in my room
With a blade in one hand
And a gun in the other

I think why dont I end it now
So I try and pull the trigger
But I stop and think

It will make to much noise and my parents are up
Put the gun down
I hear a voice say put it down on my bed
And start to bang my head

Now I take the blade
I stare at it then I start to cut
Slice by slice
Scars the will remain

Blood starts to squirt
Oops I hit a vein
I start to cry
I put the blade away

What have I just done?
I could have done an over dose
But I dontI sit here confused in my bare bedroom
With a blade on one side and a gun on the other

I try to stop the blood but then I fall
It makes a big thud sound
that brings my parents to my room

With a gasp my mom rushed into her room to call 911
There was barley anytime

With a sigh I try not to cry
I think again
And say there are to many ways

Which way should I take ?
I'm confused
With a blade on one side and a gun on the other
Thats what I used to say
But now I know my real path way.