My confession

Rushes of guilt run threw my veins,
replenishing old wounds and their bloody stains,
old habits always find a way to come back,
the strength to hold back i have always lack,
to find an end to these bad ways,
if only this was a childish phase,
why is it with me someone always get hurt,
why am i cursed with this thing called a flirt,
this feeling inside me many times iv fought,
to be perfect and true is not easily taught,
the secrets and these nasty kept lies,
my love for you each day slowly starts to die,
I've tried to be honest and true,
to the only thing my heart has ever knew,
but somethings has drown me away,
slowly more and more with each passing day,
the rushes of guilt get stronger inside,
my lying and cheating is getting harder to hide,
lying to your face acting like you are wrong,
our fights seem to never end and so long,
i don't want to lose you i swear,
but the thought of one guy forever i cant bare,
what would you think of me if you only knew,
It scares me half to death the thought of what you would do,
so ever time i go behind your back,
to lie to you and not tell you the truth is another thing i lack,
i know you think that i should make you my number one,
i know you are and always will be but that doesn't help what iv done.
i cant seem to stop myself what has come over me,
what will i turn out to be,
would you leave me if you ever found out iv been lying,
i know one day your going to catch me and there will me no use denning,
but i want you to know that its not because i don't love you,
because deep down forever and always i do,
what can i say i don't know why i do what i do,
I'm not just sorry about this whole thing.... i regret the whole thing too!!!

**p.s. but the way this poem does not mean a thing its just somethings me and some friends made up ... and no its doesnt mean i cheated on my bf cuz i didnt and never will becuz i love him and always will and i wuold never do anything to jeperdize that!!!!!**