Where it went wrong

You fell in love with me, that's where it all went wrong cause i never expected for your feelings to grow so strong. you started to give me a run for my money and to tell you the truth i found it kind of funny. the things you did for me, i would never have done so in a win/lose situation, you won. whatever i wanted that's what i would get. you would go do the sweet things when you saw me upset. we would go home and spend all night thinking about each
other. I'd call you by his name and would get mad, apologize, then call you by your name. when ever i needed you you always seemed to be around and when ever we went out, you always held it down. you played your position by waiting, but as soon as he was gone you stepped up to plate. just when things were good and you were easy to be mine i realized that all this time was a test of time. my love for him was tested with nothing, but the best. so when i choose me over you, i thought i settled for less and it was kind of true cause i know i deserve more. you were everything i needed, nothing like i had before a new beginning scared me from going back to you. and yet i gained nothing but, pain. so i choose nothing and left you, i stayed with what i wanted, but now I'm still hurting. cause i want to be with you, i don't know what to do I'm still so confused, cause all i think of is you.. the times we were together i wondered if you truly loved me. cause the only time i felt it were the many times you told me. every time you said you loved me i knew you meant it. you be showing me your love in the simplest ways. we could of made a book from all of the scenes you made. every time i checked me email and it said one new message, i knew it was you. I'd tell you everything. so I'd know you knew. i want to be with you so bad, to how it was before, but its that I've hurt you so very bad and i don't want to do it back again. the person i want to be with is me and only me. but the only time i see that i am right is when i run
into you in the hall. when we talk it's like were together and then i think what am i thinking? why do i put up with all of this shit, that i know i don't need. why don't i cross over to where the grass is greener. i ask my self if its love or am i just attached to you? am i just used to his love or do our hearts really match? should i be with you or do i rather be alone? should i accept
the truth or tell lies to make the truth a lie? there's one more question that I've been thinking of, do i love or is it that in in love with falling in love again?