Cute =)

A very cute poem, although it seems to be a bit cliche. For your first poem it's very good though, and I must say after reading some of your newest poems... theres a BIG difference! The last line kind of throws your poem off. Before the last line you said a line and then had a comma, and then finnished the thought on the next line. But you put always on ANOTHER line at the end, making it three lines to finnish the thought. Try adding some more discriptions too, you state that you feel somthing, but tell us why you feel it, and tell us how it feels.... to feel what you feel. lol I don't know if what I said just made sence. But this was excellent for your first poem. Nice job 5/5

I really like this poem it brings back old fellings..lol