And There's Nothing I Can Do

I didn't think I'd say this
But im hurting worse than ever
This pain has cut so deep
Its been longer than forever

They'll never know how much I hurt -
Or how many tears I've cried
I'm locked inside a prison
And today I nearly died

It seems like no one cares
No matter what they say
I'm trying to hold on
But it's hurting more each day

I tried to keep my head up
And not fall to the ground
I put on my best smile
And took a look around

Everyone is happy
There's not a frown in sight
I look down at my arms
So porcelain and white

I really want to do it
But I know that it is wrong
I just can't keep living
In a place I don't belong

Why are they all happy
And death is on my mind
This really isn't fair
I'm always left behind

The knife is on my wrist
But do I dare to press
I know I will be happy
Just like all the rest

The clock is ticking slowly
Bad thoughts are on my mind
Why cant I get it over with
And leave this life behind

I drop the knife and fall
And I lay there on the floor
The tears stream down my face
I dont want to hurt anymore

I curl up in a ball
And slowly drift away
To a time where I was happy
Way back in the day

I guess I couldn't do it
I couldnt take my life
I stare down at my wrists
Then I look back at the knife

I don't know what had stopped me
I don't even have a clue
I really hate this life
And there's nothing I can do..

* ok that completely SUCKED.. i just really needed to vent .. comment if you want though..