At the beginning, the flow was perfect, and the rhymes were good... but I noticed that on the last two stanzas you lost the rhythm a little bit... The emotion was still there.. it was just a little jumpy... I suggest fixing it up a little so that it flows more gracefully... Other than that, I really liked it 4/5 overall... Good poem! Keep writing and never give up! You have great potential!

~BJ~