My story

This is gonna be very long i warn you, but i would greatly appreciate if you would read it and comment i will be sure to comment back, thanks a bunch, lots of love *~*Becky*~*

about three years ago
there was this little girl
she was strong and brave
and had so much potential

then one day
all this changed

she had dealt with it for a while
the constant words
the words of longing
the constant stares
the stares of want

she just shrugged it off
then he acted on his want
she fought it off
with all the strength she had
all the time , holding her composure

once she got home
her perfect, yet flawed, world crumbled
she had lost all her strength
and that bravery she once valued
i know this ordeal
wasn't so big
but its what it represented
what it all said

it told her
she wasn't safe
not at home or school

it told her
not to trust
not boy, girl, or adult

it told her
she was weak
not strong, mighty or brave

after that day
it all went down hill

her hobby turned into an addiction
not of pills or drugs
but of adrenaline rush
and physical pain

now before this
about 10 years ago
she was still strong and brave
still had so much potential

life was good
as a sweet innocent 4 year old
but then the fighting began

he was always drunk
or high on some drug

she didn't know at the time
she only knew he was mean
she only knew her made mommy cry
she only knew that the fighting increased

she was sleeping on the couch
after a long day of playing
she must have slept all night
some warm blankets from the dryer
were piled in front of her

she could just peak over them, and into the kitchen
mommy and daddy were fighting
it seemed pretty bad

oh no here he comes
he went to his room
he came back with a suitcase
mommy started crying
as the fight got more heated

i curled up into a ball and covered my ears
daddy soon left
with no intentions on coming back

i saw him every weekend
for about 2 more years
we then moved away
out of that place of memories
i haven't seen him since

so after all this
her walls were weakened

she started getting in fights
her grades were falling
all the boys hurt her
the girls didn't like her

her addiction only escalated
as her family life went down

her father was gone
her family hated her
her friends were only ghosts
her body was ugly
her face even worse
her arms were scarred
her mom didn't have enough money
her sisters disowned her
her grades were horrible

she just went to the knife

she truly didn't see
the point in carrying on

she is 14 now
almost 15

she lost her true love
the only one who ever made her feel that way
she still hasn't seen her father
he doesn't call
he doesn't write
he doesn't send presents
like he did every year

she has lost all her friends
except one she holds dear
she doesn't like her family
they don't like her
they tell her she's worthless
and this is all true

she is moving away
at the end of the school year
not to another town only
but to another state

she will be loosing
the two people
that keep her going
the two reasons
that she is still alive

on top of this
there are the little things

she doesn't like her body
she doesn't like to look at it

she has to give up her pets
the things she really loves

she has to start all over
in a new town , with a new life
she doesn't fit in at school
all the kids call her names

she hates her one uncle
for he is a pervert
always looking at her, and smiling
giving her "Birthday" spankings and pinches
wrestling with her, but holding her close

all these things
just build up inside her
she doesn't know how to take it all out
or who to take it out on
so she uses herself

she mutilates her body
carves words
or just neat little lines
she has an arrangement of tools
some rather sharp
or rather dull

some small
and some rather big

she not only slices her skin
but she scars it in other ways

she uses an eraser
to just rub away the hurt

she uses ice and salt
to freeze away the pain