But Then I Think...

I'm sorry...
I'm not what you want me to be,
I'm not the person I was before,
I'm not the person that you see.

My thoughts are dark,
I think about my life now...here,
Sometimes I think about vanishing,
But then I think about those i hold dear.

I see that shiny piece of metal,
I think about taking it to my wrists,
To end my failures and my pain,
But then I think of this:

I would leave behind those i love,
And those who love me back,
I care about everyone i meet,
But then I think it's selfishness i lack.

I don't stand up for myself,
I'm emotional and easily cry,
But I only cry over this pain,
But then I think, there'll be no pain, if I die.

I don't know what makes me feel this way,
Theres nothing I can do,
Theres nothing I can say,
But Good-bye.