I Said I Loved You But None Of That Matters Anymore

I will tell you I love you when I am stronger
But how can I tell you all this that I did?
How can I tell if it really is over?
How can I tell you to hold onto this?

I could write you a poem near a hundred pages long
I could paint you a picture a mile wide
I could write you the chorus and verse to a song
I could sketch the shadow where my truth tries to hide

So I wrote you a sonnet you might never get
I wrote you a song you won't hear me sing
I painted you a canvas that's not finished yet
I sketched you a picture of the darkness truth brings

The sketch I burnt because you won't understand
The picture I slashed violently with a blade
The song I recorded I hold in my hand
The sonnet a confession of the mistakes I made

The song and the sonnet is all that remains
A reminder of all the times I failed to try
Verses about you written from your disdain
The chorus of all the tears I dared not cry

As my final act before I leave you forever
I will hand you the CD I recorded for you
The song explaining my hard endeavor
And asking forgiveness for what I'm about to do

Right there in front of you, face to face
I will shed the tear I dared not cry for so long
I will walk away in my shadow of disgrace
For I cannot believe it took me this long

And hopefully you will not let me depart
But instead run to me and hold me tight
But deep down inside this broken heart
I know you'll let me fade into the night

I'll walk to the curb, night descending
I knew I should have done this long before
I figured you'd be so condescending
I said I loved you, but none of it matters anymore