It's stuck in my mind

Its stuck in my mind
And it has a mind of its own.
Sometimes they all combined
And it feels like my head is about to explode.
It's so dark,
So mysterious,
It's leaving it's mark
As everything is poisonous.
Its been with me for years,
I've tried to get rid if it,
But it brings back more tears,
Reminds me of my own fears.
Sometimes it sends chills down my bones
So I can't move
And the pain grows.
Then it restarts a new.
Once, I've tried to run away
but the found me and killed me
Like a cigarette in a ash try.
I can on longer live this way!
So whats a girl to do?
Live with it the rest of my live?
No,
I cannot do that,
so I'll end my life and die.