Stopped And Back Again

Pain is something that lingers
stays at the tip of your fingers
and doesnt go away

To deal with pain
is to deal with anger
anger is the one word that sums up what i now have

I used to take walks
sort out my feelings and talk
but now that privilege is gone and lost

I snuck out one night
with that guy that i liked
and got caught

I broke it off with the other half of my heart
i ended it with the man i loved
so now my life is off

That night was full of tears
with tears came once again more pain
when i started back on my habit again

Scars began to form
blood appeared more and more
but i dare not to stop
im back to cutting again

I didnt want to go back
i wanted to start from scratch
but the pain disappeared with the growing number of scars on my arm

I hate that the main reason is him
but the truth hurts
and that is what the truth is because of him

Now that i bear more pain
the more the scars wont go away
they bleed til i want it to end

The blood doesnt stop
but thats how i want it
i want the control

My life may seem happy
you may think i get what i want
if thats true
then why would i go back to this?

I do it to hold on longer
to not give up and let go
at the same time let the pain fade away

After im done
i just look at my arm
and begin to think of all ive done wrong

Like i said before
i dont do this for attention
i do it for the pain
i do it..
for the control