Can I Stop?

Should I say sorry?
Sorry that I felt this way,
Sorry that for me,
It was a bittersweet, melancholy happy day?
Should I say I miss you,
Because I don't.
You broke up my family.
I'm still not sure if you really wanted to,
But you achieved that much...

It hurt to see you hurt so much,
But it hurt to see my family hurt so much, too,
Now it hurts to hate you.

Can I stop being guilty of my relief,
That you're finally gone.
Hey, don't be sad,
Your memory lives on.

*This is about a nun that my mum used to visit a lot. The problem was that she believed all that the old nun said, and it broke our family.
I think we're better now, now that she's died.
But I still feel guilty because I felt a lot of relief when I heard that she had finally passed away.
This poem is not a good one, but it has helped me get out some angry emotions that I have bottled up inside for so long.