Comments : Hope.

  • 18 years ago

    by Robert

    Its a really sweet poem... also emotional & well written. well done.

  • Loved it... its so well written and i loved da use of rhyme great job! your very talented 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by cochise

    This is such a beautiful poem.I really liked this , it was great, been there and felt the same way. Keep it up
    comment on my poem if you get a chance
    -cochise

  • 18 years ago

    by cochise

    This is such a beautiful poem.I really liked this , it was great, been there and felt the same way. Keep it up
    comment on my poem way i feel if you get a chance
    -cochise

  • 18 years ago

    by Cari

    Omg, that is really good. its really sad. i had some1 save me 2 after no one wud listen, im not sure if thats wut happened in ur poem but neways i loved how its written. 5/5 :)

  • 18 years ago

    by ratchild666

    This is really good. i love this stanza:

    That shy young girl
    With a voice so small
    Never said a word
    But her smile said it all

    amazing. keep up the great work!
    stef/xx

  • 18 years ago

    by Tortured Soul

    So a sad poem, it was done very well. Amazing work.

  • 18 years ago

    by Jacklyn

    Great poem. i loved the ending it was beautifully writen. goes to show how important people are in our lifes. i hope that things are going well for you. and that if you had cut that you are past that now. i hope that things are better.

    i'm going to make a little suggestion that i really hope you take no offence to just take it to concideration. i noticed that you repeat words a lot in your poems, which sometimes bring them down. not in this one though. but maybe you could work on it a little. i had this problem a ton when i began writing poetry and never fixed it until someone pointed it out to me. but remember no offence your a good poet.

    ~Jacklyn

  • 18 years ago

    by Jacklyn

    Alright i'm just going to point out a few areas that i'm talking about in my comment. i'm glad you want to improve!

    third stanza and fourth stanza- you repeat "that" 6 times out of eight lines.

    the last stanza you have to watch the word "for"

    one thing you try not to do is start lines with the same word in the same stanza they are the ones that stick out the most to the reader.

    also you want to try and avoid using the same word twice in one line. (don't think i saw it in the poem though)

    and another thing to avoice is trying to use the same word in two lines on top of each other.

    sometimes these are going to be hard to avoid, take a while to get use to. and sometimes you'll have to do it. but i think it will make your poetry better if you try not to do it.

    my poems from early on repeat a lot and i am much happy with my poetry today where i don't do it as much. so i had the same probablems. but this is a really good poem still.

    ~Jacklyn

  • 18 years ago

    by midnight♥lullibys

    Absolutly love it...great story to it and very sad fits the category great ....it was deep meaning ful w/ a great flow!! (i especially liked the flow) 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Emma

    I like the poem. it was good nice flow.

    Emma

  • 18 years ago

    by nobody truly knows me

    Wow, excellent poem hun, i know exactly how you feel.

  • 18 years ago

    by Tammy

    Beautiful & sad at the same time. I like your writing style.
    Take care

  • 18 years ago

    by avery

    I can relate a lot to this poem,
    great job, and i love your style of writing.

  • 18 years ago

    by Void

    I don't know what anyone else has said, but I have to say - I love it. It was excellent, flawless. I connected with it perfectly, it was a poem from my own heart ... 'Sept for the fact that it was from yours :P lol. Never doubt your poems, because I can tell you this much - this is incredible.

  • 18 years ago

    by Little Dot

    Wow, once again, amazing poem. These are are so well done. This poem has great flow and was so well written.

  • 18 years ago

    by Wasted Fake Smiles

    Wow..this is like abuot me except the last 2 lines bcuz no one luvs me stil n no angel has convinced me 2 stay..anyway..wow gr8 work! 5/5
    ~*Who Cares?*~

  • 18 years ago

    by Allison

    This is a great poem. Keep up the great work. *5/5*

  • 18 years ago

    by Loulou

    THIS POEM I LOVE IT IT WON YOU 2ND PLACE IN MY CONTEST
    I LOVE IT IT IS SOOOO GOOD IT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE POEMS ON HERE.

    KEEP WRITING
    LOVE ALWAYS
    TABBY

  • 18 years ago

    by Loulou

    GREAT POEMS YOU R AN EXCELLENT WRITER LOVE ALWAYS
    TABBY