My Christmas not the same

2:30 in the morning
These alligator tears won’t stop falling
My nose is runny uncontrollably
I can not stop bawling

It’s been a rough time lately
The break up of my brother and his ex-girlfriend
I miss her so much
I want so badly to be with her again

I looked to her as my big sister
Always have and still do
It hurts me so very much
To know what you are going through

Your mom just surviving breast cancer
Your father not much a Christmas guy
Your real sister off with her boyfriend
I just sit here and cry

I know how badly you ruined things with my brother
How he now hates you and doesn’t give another chance
But I pray every night and day
That he just give you one more glance

I see it; how you’ve changed
How you gave up drinking and smoking in your life
All because of one man; one birth
You want to live for Jesus Christ

I see your attempts to talk to him again
I see how he talks to you and looks your way
I know how you cry yourself to sleep
And all you do is pray

With those few months you were together
You became so close to us
We were your second family
But there was an issue with trust

You say my brother cheated
I don’t know who to believe
I want it to be you
And you say you swear to me

I know how broken your heart is
I know of how you cry at home
But what I now wish I didn’t know
Is that you’ll be spending Christmas alone

Lisa I can’t picture you sitting there
No one to love you and be with you
I’m to the point I want to say screw my family
And spend time with just us two

You having nothing to open
Just going to church then back to your place
It just breaks my heart so very much
To picture the look on your face

I love you so much girl
You are always in my prayers and on my mind
I pray every night
For things to get better over time

I pray for us to have a Christmas together
So you can see what it’s really like with family
If not my family altogether
Then just a Christmas with you and me

These tears fell till 4:00 in the morning
Last night I couldn’t sleep
Hearing you say “I’m spending Christmas alone”
Cut a wound in my heart so deep

My Christmas will not be the same now
Because I will wish you were here
I hope you try and have a good Christmas
Big sis, just hold God near