Its really expressive, i can kind of relate to this too? i don't write too much poems but maybe it would be a little more consistent if you stuck with a number or lines per stanza or just left it all in one instead of alternating between 3 and 4 lines?? |
by Jerry Scott
Good work! There are a few formatting compatibility issues, but the emotion you express is excellent and comes across clearly. |
by Sherry Lynn
Kori: |
by Samantha
... this poem was very emotional and i really liked it... the olnly thing is that try to make things flow a little more... one minute your rhyming then the next your not then you are... pick one and stick with it... other than that good work keep it up! |
by Jay27
I've had my share of tragedy in my life so far also, I can't relate specifically to what you are writing about here, but i understand sadness for sure. |
by Bill Turner
Beautifully written. My friend, don't hide your feelings. Live, laugh and love each day like it is your last....make the most of life, don't let life make you. You owe it to yourself.... |
by Syn
Beautiful. i really like your abstract-ness.... yep i said it ABSTRACT-NESS!! lol |
Wow, excellent poem. um, the only way i can think to improve is working on your rythms(i forgot how to spell that stupid word.lol) other than that, excellent poem. |
by Jenn
Hey, Great poem i really enjoyed it, I have to read more of yours when I get a few extra minutes....keep them coming!! |
by Truest Lies
It was quite touching, I felt it could have used a little something, because in places it sounded empty..but perhaps that was the feeling that you intended, anyhow. |
Wow u are living your life regretting alot of stuff and i have to say that u have to end it...you can't live like that anymore..just givin u some of my advice...5/5 thoe...its an amazing poem..keep ya head up |
by Princess09
Great poem, add punctuation. Hope you don't really cry this much. If so what about?? sorry im nosey, but i cry a lot to and not many people understand why! |
by k i k i
I love your work. It's so different and full of meaning. |
by AlexJ
That is so sad and I can relate to it too somehow. Good work !! |
by lisa marie
Awh this is so sad. i don't really see anything wrong with this poem. a job well done my friend. |
This was deep. and i know how you feel on pushing people away cause i do the same. i hide my feelings as well, and thats something my parents hate about me, cause they could never tell if something is SERIOUSLY wrong with me until i do something about it myself. and i pretty much always screw up. ~sorry about this~ |
Wow. Great poem! I can relate to it soo much. Excellent job. 5/5. Thanks for the comments by the way. And as for your comment about me changing the form of my poem into more than one stanza, I like to write in one stanza. I do realize that it can be hard to read, but I like it that way.. I can't explain why, haha. But thank you for the input hun. |
by LadyPearl
Hiding my feelings |
This poem is an expression of true feelings |
I enjoyed reading your poem very much...I write about pain, but not the |