Murder

by Lenny   Dec 23, 2005


Dreams,
Lie scattered,
Across the floor,
A shaking hand,
Reaches,
For the door,
The blood stained scene,
So quickly fled,
Our quiet victim,
Left for dead,
Shoes scuff and wear,
As our villain runs,
In his heart the sound,
Of firing guns,
Remorse is chasing,
Getting near,
The victims screams,
No joy to hear,
Our friend,
Breathes slow,
Back on the ground,
The villains,
Quarry,
Not yet found,
Paces slow,
Our villain turns,
In his mind,
A guilt fire burns,
Regret has annexed,
Fear of arrest,
His old conscience,
His new minds guest,
Landscapes passing,
Head a blur,
He races back,
To rescue her,
She lies still,
Eyes open wide,
Waves of light,
Rush like the tide,
Final minutes,
Ticking by,
With final breaths,
She starts to cry,
A warm hand,
Presses on her lips,
The sweet warmth,
Of his fingertips,
Silent forgiveness,
As she leaves,
To forever haunt him,
As he grieves,
Behind bars,
He knows his crime,
Preserved in memory,
Of, his blindest time.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Watchmeburn

    Good poem. I liked it and the story it told.
    Thanks for your comment.

  • 18 years ago

    by myshiningstar14

    Amazing intensity..love the rhythem/..good jobb.

    Lissa

  • 18 years ago

    by brown eyes and a melancholy smile

    This is amazing! briliantly crafted, great word play, nice flow. powerful piece. very well done! its fabulous

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    I cant even say how much i enjoyed it.. always do you amaze me. every time.. this one was jam packed with crisp imagery and an awesome sequence of events.. your word choice was awesome.. the flow, at times, seemed to stumble, but it would pick back up.. i think there might be a few spots to iron out the flow/rhyme/meter, but overall, a completely fabulous piece.. Loved the ending as well.. I can't even imagine what you'll be writing in later years, as you're already well above your age-group in writing.. cant stress how much i liked all the similes and comparisons and imagery in this.. it's a pretty chaotic piece, executed perfectly for it's content; yet i cant help but expect a more sinister poem being entitled "murder," and similarly i can't imagine how you'd make it more sinister.. so basically.. i think im talking nonsense right now, which is usually the time to post my comment.. pZ =O)

  • 18 years ago

    by ☆Vintage Butterfly Star☆

    Hey,
    I liked this....you're words worked well and i especially liked the way you set it out making it read better.

    Xxx Cici xxX

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