Here in my room i look out the same old window.
The only thing different about today you see is, I wont take it anymore.
I know in my heart I shouldn't be here.
No one should have to go through such bullshit.
This little house I live in is filled with heartaches and just below me is a monster.
I shall not go on living my life under this roof.
The roof he calls a home.
To me it's just a death trap.
Forever tearing me up inside to live here.
I just want out of here.
I feel as if my life is a maze and I'm stuck here drowning.
Every morning I was waking up to screams.
Now all I hear is silence.
Could it be my mother has seen what a dead beat her husband really is?
I go downstairs only to see once again he's told her he's sorry.
Why does she believe him? Why wont she just listen to me!?
Any man can say im sorry, but if he was really sorry he'd change his cruel hurtful ways.
Yet I can see right through him.
He is no different than just yesterday.
I am stuck here looking out my window once more.
Now knowing it will all be the same soon again.
I fall asleep, lying here crying.
With the knife I keep by my side every night.
When I wake up I hear her mortiphying screams.
Thy of my mother, her frightful depth of terrible cries, make me break inside.
I don't dare go down those curling stairs.
If I shall it will tear me apart to see what is beyond that corner.
So instead I lie in my room crying and screaming.
No one hears my cries for help.
I look up to the picture on my wall.
The last thing that was heard from my broken soul was a long deep scream.
Then I took my last deep meaningful gasp.
In that moment I said goodbye to my mother.
My life is better now.
Don't worry about me mother.
I know it's not your fault.
You couldn't control that man I see to be a monster.
So I set myself free from his tight grasp.
Now I shall never feel his cold boney fingers wrapped around my neck.
I know you're still in agony.
But I had to get out of there mother.
You never answered my cries.
That is why I'm resting my head now.
Knowing tomorrow I'll wake up in peace, don't worry about me I'll be amognst angels when its all over.
I will feel warm in her safe embrace.
Unlike you she is looking out for me.
Never againg will I have to endure those long cold nights in that grey room.
Such a horrible place, if only you could see this mother.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
When you get worried later, and knock on my door.
You shall get no answer. No response at all for I am not there.
I'm now gone, there is no bringing me back...now I shall say goodbye.
If only you would've realized nothing was okay.
I know you ment good.
I just had to end it all.
I took my knife to my throat.
No stiches or bandages can fix your little girl now.
I know I have made a lot of screw ups but once you let him into our home you gave up your girl.
Remember yeah me the one you supposedly loved and gave birth to!
