I refuse to say I love you because I'm sure I don't
but this snow is making me do funny things.
all the Christmas colors
and sparkling snow under the streetlights
is just so beautiful and its making me miss you
even though you were never mine.
we're walking side by side down slippery sidewalks
and I'm wearing your jacket
to keep from freezing in the icy air
and chilling presence of your heart.
we're laughing and talking like there's nothing going on
but honey, you know there's something there.
and then we're meeting up with her
and you're hugging
and kissing her
and I'm watching you two with this envy
I just can't explain.
so I run away, catching snowflakes on my tongue
and hoping you'll mistake my tears for snowflakes on my cheeks.
or maybe you won't even notice
because you'll be too busy staring into her beautiful eyes
to remember you have this distraught mess
waiting for you to clean her up.
so I'll fall to the ground and make snow angels
and you'll tell her she's your angel.
you're killing me.
I'm handing you back you're jacket
and walking home in the dark
shivering
but honey, I don't even feel the cold.
you're making me shiver
you're making me scared.
you're making me feel broken and empty
while you're filling her up with all the things I need.
and you call me later, asking me whats wrong
like you don't have a clue how I feel.
I just laugh
and then I cry
and I try to tell you but the words just...
won't come out.
so I just hang up the phone and wish you'd call back
but I know you're talking to her now
and darling I just can't take it.
I turn off all my christmas lights
and leave my house dark
just like my world is without you.
Christmas is coming and honey
all I want for Christmas is to be her so you'll love me like I.....
I refuse to say I love you because I'm sure I don't,
but honey...
