Undesired Immortality

by Truest Lies   Dec 25, 2005


The streets are darkened,
As the sun leaves,
And a man in a cloak wanders the back-streets of the city.
He is not afraid of muggers,
Or of any type of violence,
For he is the ultimate evil,
And he has no need to fear bad.

But really,
As he wanders he is sad,
In a lonesome world of his own,
And he claps his cloak around him.
He is wishing for a home.

His bright blue eyes glitter,
And his fangs appear,
And then the moon moves behind a cloud,
And he is hit in the heart by a spear.

The fangs disappear,
The blue eyes begin to fade,
Until they are a coffee-brown,
And he is an old man.
And all the ancient vampire says is,
"Thank you, hunter, for taking my undesired immortality."

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Elynnka

    Nice vampire poem :) I think it would have been better if you added more rhymes, but the storyline is pretty nice 5/5
    Keep it up! *hug*

    P.S.: I have a few vampire poems too, if you'd like to read them. ("Chrysanthemums scent", "A place in Heaven for the Fallen" and "Red roses... raven feathers")

  • 18 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    This is a very unique poem. I must applaud you for your creativity. Nice job

    ---Sher

  • 18 years ago

    by Void

    Hey. I'm not sure why you only got 4 on that, but I'll go my best to raise it up a bit. Maybe it was that some of your poem had such good rhyme scheme to it and then all of a sudden it didn't flow so well... But the story behind it is really cool and you have good imagery, so I'd be happy to give you a 5/5. Keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    This is very good, the last stanza isn't quite as good as the rest, but still a brilliant poem

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