Lost love again

I love him I know I do
But what if this special love is not true,
How can I feel this way and not be able to say
The words that I know he wants to hear everyday
He has picked me up when I was down
Laughed was I was being a total clown
Loved me more than I probably deserve
But I do love him more than he will know
Why cant I say the words that he wants to hear so bad
Its so sad
But life isnt all fairy-tale stories and happy endings
I just wish I didnt find out the hard way
Especially him and my mum on my bed
Well here they are the special 3 words
You have wanted to hear for so long
I HATE YOU