Let go

I'm usually always depressed i cry myself to sleep at night some times I'll be sitting or walking and I'll think about stuff that i cant forget and stuff that hurts me inside and my eyes start to water then i go to my room or some place where i can be alone where i can cry and f u c k i n cut myself in my heart i am alone i probably will never ever amount to anything i wish life would get better i wish i didn't have to cry i wish i didn't have to cut I'm screaming inside just waiting to f u c k i n die! i cry my heart out if there was i way i could fully be happy i would do anything yes i may be happy but u judt cant see my heart or what I'm thinking about! nobody under stands and will never ever know what I've been throe i i tryed to comit suicide over 20 f u c k i n times now 20! its so hard just to not break down and cry everywhere i go but every single day i get better at hiding my feelings but every single day my pain grows the day i die will be the best day of my life and then i will be able to let go my pain will be over there will be no more secrets on my note goodbye will be all my secrets and i can Finlay let go