12-27-05
I talked to you today.
When we ran into each other at the store.
I bit my tongue in vain.
I tried so hard to not cry.
I thought of all your lies.
As my eyes shown my anger.
You said you had to go.
I know you just didn't want to be seen with me.
I played along.
Acted like nothing was wrong.
You left, I stayed where I was for some time.
Oh, how I wanted to run after you.
To stop you and tell you how I feel.
But I didn't.
I went home.
Got out my box.
I opened it and swifted through it.
I took everything out and laid it aside.
I looked at the bottom and I saw my destination.
It was so shiny and beautiful.
It was to be my new best friend.
I held it in my hand like I was gonna lose it.
I put everything thing away.
I put the box in it's place.
I held out my hand.
I smiled and thought this is my time.
I walked slowly to the bathroom.
Thinking out my master plan.
I closed the door and locked it.
I opened my cupboard and got a towel.
I sat on the toilet lid.
I cried.
I laughed.
I slit my wrist.
I sat in silence as I absorbed the pain.
It felt so right.
It helped me keep my mind off of you.
I went back to my room.
Sat down on the floor.
I cut again.
I laughed even harder.
I started to get dizzy.
So I leaned against the bed.
I laid back my head.
I felt so proud of myself.
I had finally succeeded.
I had won this challenge.
My life flashed before me.
I cried at the good times.
I laughed at the bad.
I closed me eyes for the last time.
I prayed and said my good-byes..
