Recrudescence

Uncommon smiles shower release
And effectual glow suffers not the priest
In black silhouette deny the pish-posh
Instead, electing, to kneel at the cross
Sufferable delay makes all notions sweet
To burdened is one of the few elite
Who lives a life -mere shell of existence-
Full of tact and somewhat bitter persistence

Forgiven though insane
The derelict once became
Upon shower of guilt and woe unbeknownst is I
Though given request, I wonder why
This foray was forbidden to my lone eyes
And equaled yet another of my unceremonious lies
Mistaken, I sprawl to the earth -my shelter in grief-
Forsaken, my ambivalent helper and relief

Though lost the smile spreads and grows with such grace
To lose in the eyes the most uncommon trace
No glance remains their own but mine
Upon some fleshhooks I will dine
Along with my rosemary tea
It seems that I've found the lost me
Now the walls will echo in serenade
Of my returning glow -which had lost it's shade-

I feel alive again and the sky
Seems to open it's hope to myself and I
A glimmer into the midst of the unknown
But for now my steps, I've been shown
Denied this cheer but long ago
But also this fortnight sent my woe
To unavoidable prisons of disrepair
Destroying all sense of pain and despair
Because now the glass of sun is set
At fingertip for occasional sips adept
And in tune with reality as it is made
Before the crystalline drought would fade
To shimmer down my hand with sparkled show
Soaking my heart with light before I fall low
Diving to depths beyond things I've grown
Used to and normal, such as I'd condone
But with light ahead I'll frost my eyes
To glimpse the night with invisible cries
At unnatural fears I'd grown all the more
Forgiving as I'd stare at these heartless -and tore-
Into the darkness for fear of perceival
Of the vicissitudes and reasonless relieval
The darkest of depths are denied the right
By the blankest, yet dawning, immersive light
That I've thrust my being to
And forgotten the mere few
Hatreds and memories of angst
But now only think of the showers passed in my life
How I've surpassed it all and even some strife
Conquering, in truth, I've played the game
With no reasonless turmoil or sheltered shame
Only surpassing the few who'd fallen before
And helping them up if only once more
Struggling along I'll continue and will
Set my mind to victory at least until
The next effort at pain will nag me down
But then I'll have set this sunsetted crown
Upon my brow and carefree dreams
To continue on in philanthropic things
And focus ahead to my goal and then some
That way, my future will come.