Rescue Me

The final break of dawn emerges
To ascend the heavenly skies
The light anew perplexes
These once forgotten tries

To remain standing on my own
Not balancing on one rung string
My cover's not the only thing to have blown
The shot rang out -or will ring-

Not now, my prison walls
Build to ephemeral heights
Lost feeling and heart appalls
These cold, barren nights

Amass the graves that died in vain
That died in vain for me
If I take that knife on table lain
Will it really set me free?

Or will it only cripple my fate
If I remain alive
Ridden to exterior pate
Lost, and fried, but safe

The simple pleasures once in store
That I enjoyed so well
Would I like for such things more?
Or can I really tell?

Hearken not to feelings so
I think once -and thousands before-
Only with lots of trust one would know
From fancied dreams I have tore
My reasonless wanting for
The beasts to amass and strike my eyes
Watch as they bled and are sore
Or is this all only meager lies?
I've kept just before
I wrote this story for you
Or really is it a story or the truth?
Maybe I don't know too
But now I strangely feel mute

Struggle on, above all else
I'll pretend to be alive
But tired eyes give helpless whelps
When playing with these knives

No...
I cannot give in to this tormenting spite
Rather live along with whatever right
I ever could have held
If I must live, I shall meld
My pains and angst and more
Set all on the throne before
My living God and king
But no.. I don't want to sing
The heart seems stone cold dead
If I'm not then why the red
Before my eyes I plead
Someone.. Someone.. I need....

Tears drop in single file
If I am to pass this bitter trial
Then stronger I must be
Focus all on my Father who is He
But my eyes align so slow
Suffering, that's something I know
And can easily deal myself too well
So well in fact not one could tell
What I'd really rather do
Just die now or abuse
My reasonless life

Simple distress grows till night
Upon the light
I throw my sight
And glance about the striking skies
Why do I hit harder upon each of my tries?
Above me something flies
Soaring high above
What it is I'll never know
Whatever it may be brings sense of love
Somehow, it flew in tow
But still dropped neck deep in pain

How to fix this mangled wreck
That has crumbled down and hit the deck
After standing for so long
Would it really be that wrong?
To finish to the end of all
Or should I wait till star fall

Now it seems I'm still devoid
Of a heart, and eyes still cloyed
I'm stone if ever really was such
I know that's unbelievable or much
Nevertheless it is true
But safely said I'm not blue
Only purple and in between
Maybe a little longer on my lean

Do I need a shoulder and a friend
Or something only heaven can lend

I am stuck
I do not know

And maybe I never will.
Prescribed to me a yellow pill
Why not take just a couple more
Rendering senses poor
But maybe neither dead nor alive
Or if I take much more than five
I'll quiet all these trembles
Forever destroyed.

For you I'll try to smile
Crushed before you all the while
But chipper I will seem
Weak emotionally I will deem
You've lost the right to see me cry
If upon answer you ask me why
I'll remind you of the night before
All things seemed worse than ever more
No one will love you forever
That's just foolishness and guile
And saying such only gives me rile
How did you change so much?
Using everyone else now for a crutch
Think of someone else for once

How many things now clasp me down
Too terrible things upon this ground
Too deep I've fallen and ever before
Now I don't know how to get the door
Out of this miserable cage
And those who only echo praise
Derides and troubles me

Bereft I cheer more than ever before
These loathsome days maybe I should have tore
Before they struggle for greater space
My mind has ran away-without trace-
So how do I return to those days
How many trades
Did I set my soul up for

Abba, Abba, save your child
From all these thoughts, both cruel and wild
Take me to your arms and guide
Me from these depths under earthly hand
And take these demons that marr and band
Me from walking your blessed land
That's struggling to breathe as well
And give them the loving tale
That each one means everything to you
Each tortured soul and all afew
Could know your kind grace and spew
Out your hand to shelter the fallen
From despair and misfortune and guile
Forever and then a while

Please take me now while on bended knee
Digress those fears and take to thee
The struggle and the grief
I give you all my belief
That this you truly will do
Just as anything I've ever asked or blew
Before