Dreamt Delusions

I wish there were words to make things better for you, just hold on

This is so sad, and the last stanza is really sums everything up well. I think the title is incredible well-fitting.

*hugs*

Never lose hope... you never know if they're watching over you... so many people can't bear to see those they love cry, and if you cry now... you'll make them feel sad. We wouldn't want that, would we?

Death is such a painful thing... when you feel it, it's different. Yet there are different ways of dying, and sometimes it hurts. Sometimes people die when everyone around them is holding their hand, praying they'll be okay. Sometimes there's guilt even if it's not your fault. I feel guilty every time I forgot to pray for a relative who was dying... and without a prayer or a wish, where's the strength to survive? It's so painful.... I feel like something's my fault every day. But please don't cry. Just know that there's peace besides pain. I don't know how those people do it... not crying when they're reminded of a dead loved one... but it seems.. odd in a way.

If you ever need anything, you can always talk to me. I don't mind. ^_~'

~Rain

Thanks guys *hugs* Steph thanks for theadvice. I think it sounds better with go instead of return. Angela thanks for your advice, I'm trying. Steph thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, you're both in mine. *hugs* XXXXX
JL

That was very heartfelt with alot of emotion, and I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be ok... I guess since I can't help you with life (though you are in my thoughts) I suppose the next best thing is to give my two cents on the write itself. I really liked it, the flow was wonderful and the rhyme scheme flawless - none of it seemed forced; however there was one line that I found somewhat complicated by the extra syllable. which is:

Terry will be hunting
In the quiet wood
Later he'll return home
Just like he should

The third line seems somewhat long and I almost thing it would sound better if it was more like this:

Terry will be hunting
In the quiet wood
Later he'll go home
Just as he should

Of course that could just be the way I'm reading it,and I might just be having a brainfart lol, so feel free to disregard all of that... Excellent job!