Tears
I've cryed so much that I think I have no more tears, But when I see your picture or think about you I start to cry. I still can't believe that you're gone, I still ask myself questions about your being gone, but I don't dare say them out loud. No one knows how close we were to each other, and I think no one ever will, except us. People tell me to get over it, but I don't think that I ever will. How can they say let it go when they don't even know what's going on anymore? We were so close to each other we were inseparable and we didn't have to talk to understand what each other was thinking about or trying to say. They will never understand me, because I don't even understand me anymore. I thought that I had all the answers to everything that I would have ever needed because I had you there with me, and now that you're not here I don't know anything that I used to know. I don't understand. How could you just leave like that? People tell me you're in a better place now, but that doesn't change the fact that you're gone. It doesn't change the fact that I have no one to confine in. It doesn't change the fact that when I have a question I can't ask you because you're not here. It doesn't change the fact that I miss you and I love you and I can't tell you because you're not here. It doesn't change my attitude towards people. It doesn't change the fact that it was my fault that you're gone. I still ask myself if you were still here, what would it be like if you hadn't left us... left me.? I still miss you though it's been some time since your passing. I still have so many questions to ask, so many things to tell, so many things to share, but now they are to be secret, stored and locked away deep inside to never be reveled to anyone but myself, all because you're not here.
