I'm So Fat

I have a dish next to me.
filled with Chocolate.
but I'm worried i might get fat.
I'm worried no one would like me.

i take a piece but i feel guilty.
i feel like I'm the biggest person.
the biggest person in the world.
i feel like I've been eating non-stop.

tears full in my eyes.
i can't stand this.
i want to be skinny.
i want to be beautiful.
look it everyone at school.
look at there stomachs.
flat as it could be.

now look at mine.
look what I've been doing.
to myself in fact by it.
I'm going to lose as much as i gain.
it might be hard, harder then the pain.

no wait I'll do something more.
I'll get surgery.
but I'll do it on my own.
I'll become the best as something.
I'll have all the guys coming to me.
finally all the words will end.
finally all the jokes will be finished.

can't make fun of me more.
so I'll open up the door.
get the knife out of the sink.
I'll lift up my shirt.
make a mark from a pen.
and i start to cut off my skin.

I'll make it until I'll bleed to death.
but yet I'll get the sewing kit.
i want to be beautiful.
i hate being ugly i hate being me.
i want to make everyone want me.

I'll cry until i stop bleeding.
I'll scream until i stop hurting.
please please help me please.
i want to end this now.
i want to stop being fat.
i want to stop being ugly.

but as i see my plan didn't go.
didn't go the way i wanted it.
didn't want to be dead.
i didn't want to die.
this is what surgery on my own.
on my own gets me.

*OK i wrote this not because I'm fat, I'm a normal size and i don't think I'm fat anymore i mean my boyfriend would really kill me if i called myself fat so i know that i am not but i was sitting here and there is chocolate next to me and i got the idea. I hope you guys enjoy it*