Under the microscope

I entertain thoughts
That maybe aren’t true
I feel as though their watching
Everything that I do

My mood and my face
Dictate the day
Maybe by something
Or the lack of what I say

Why am I the deciding fact
Of how the day should go
No one knows what I am thinking
They don’t take the time to know

I can’t be free to just be me
I cant wear a frown cuz Im not
Allowed to be down

I have to be happy
And wearing a smile
All the while treading down
Anger road, mile after mile

I’m the pendulum of time
I’m what makes it tick
I must keep the flame of joy
Burning on my very short wick

Maybe I’m not happy
And maybe I’m at fault
Maybe I need to pray more
And bring my attitude to a halt

But all I hear is negativity
I’m this and I am that
So how can I be positive
When all I hear is crap