Your own strength (revised)

by Once an Angel   Jan 2, 2006


Beautiful girl reflected in the mirror
hiding your face from the scorn of day
Such a beautiful daughter of her father
drowning in a pool of everlasting gray
Understand that I am not an angel
I have not been sent to you from God
I am just another child like yourself
holding tight to a guiding Iron rod
We both trip and fall in our lives
we both have arms that are bruised
and knees that are covered in scraps
Through our trials we have been abused.
Still child you do not walk alone
not while I am still living here
Put some of your weight on me
Release your deep sorrowful tears
Release the heavy burden you bare
climb upon my back for a little while
I"ll give your tired body a bit of a break
as I carry you piggy-back style
I'll carry you as long as my muscles can
and then together we'll take a short rest
just enough to sleep the fatigue away
then rising again to finish our test
Just know I have imperfections too
and that I also can easily fall astray
You certainly may get ahead of me
and travel on a more righteous way
No matter what direction I decide to go
Do not follow in my depressed shadow
Do not get consumed by my endless woe
Go your own directions to learn and grow
Sweet child remember I'll always love you
and will always care for the person you are
I have faith in your talents and abilities
because I know they will take you very far
Know that mistakes only make you human
and emotions only prove you are real
trials only mean you life is too easy and you need to learn new ways to be strong, to deal.
No matter what life brings you my baby
don't you ever dare give up your fight
I can't always stand right next to you
but I will be there to help you be alright.

I had a place I was going with this, but a strange mix of emotions kind of changed the mood to what it is here. Let me know what you think.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Minkus

    This poem completely deserves the 5.0 rating it has; great message. We can never give up.

    Oh, and about 'A Lie and the Truth'... I really don't know what it was about. I started in the middle of it and wrote a few lines, then did the beginning and end. Basically, it's just about the beauty of the truth.

    -DJ

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Oh such a powerful, emotional, and thought provoking write. What a symbolic piece too of how friends stand by each other yet still have to choose how to live their own life. I especially liked the reference to "piggy-back" because that is a childish way to help someone and it really brought the poem to life.
    There were a few of lines I think could be better,
    "and knees that are covered in scraps
    Through our trials we have been abused."
    The rhyme in the second line seems forced, and I don't understand the capital letter at the front, with no full stop before it...While I'm on that subject you used full stops a couple of times in the poem and I think it would make the poem neater to use them all the way through, where needed.
    The flow was fantastic in this poem and I could read it fluently...until I reached this line
    "trials only mean you life is too easy and you need to learn new ways to be strong, to deal." I suggest either shorten it or do something to break it up. Oh and it should be "mean your life is too…"
    Overall fantastic poem, sort these errors out and you have a publish worthy poem.

  • 18 years ago

    by Allison

    I really liked this one. You have a great talent that I think you should keep going the best you can. :)

  • 18 years ago

    by TinyDancer46

    Oh my gosh. I absolutely LOVED this... you have alot of talent hun, and I really liked the way you used the words. Incredible and flawless.... great job

  • 18 years ago

    by Matters

    Do you mind much if I add you to my favorites?

    Judging by this, I have to.

    Matt.

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