My Pretending

Today I feel like cutting
I just want the hurt and pain to go away
Maybe if I let the blood flow
It would all come out too

But instead I will look and smile
Just so you won't worry
When you talk I will nod my head
And pretend I am alright

Maybe tomorrow will be different
I just have to fake my way through it
Until you go away again
And then I will sit and cry

I will shed a tear for you
Then be done with it all
Forget the way you hurt me
And never remember it

You will never see this pain
That threatens to overwhelm me day to day
But I won't let you in
Even if you ask

So today I will cut myself for you
And let my blood take out all my pain
You won't see the scar
Or the blood that bleeds for you

So I close my eyes and drag the knife
One small cut, deeper and deeper
Then I sigh with relief
Because it is finally done

My pain finally won the battle
Now I can't go back
And it is all over and too late
Maybe one day you will finally see

Never forget this blood I bleed for you
The scar you won't see
Or the tears in my eyes
Don't forget my blood I bleed for you