Its not me, Its my heart

My eyes are closing, stinging from pain,
Of remembering the memories tracking down my name.

My lungs feel heavy, its getting harder to breathe,
If you're going to go, I wish you'd just leave.

My heart doesn't feel like a heart anymore,
It's broken in pieces, battered and sore.

It feels like a hunger ache, focused in the heart,
Hungry for something that won't rip it apart.

My heart doesn't trust you,
Won't believe what you say,

But don't give up 'cause of that,
Please don't throw me away.

My mind knows I love you, My heart doesn't want to cry,
So it blocks out those feelings, And turn them to lies.

My heart has a rule, if we get too close,
It thinks you will hurt me, more so than most.

So I push you away, whenever im hurt
But that's when you start to treat me like dirt

So my heart gets confused, cause it pushed you away,
But yet, you hurt us anyway.

So im stuck in a circle, round, round and round
Repeatedly drowning, not making a sound.

The only noise is inside, where im screaming out loud
Bleeding, not noticed, in a blind, hopeless crowd.

Lungs are collapsing, tears will be falling
And once again I must fight the death that's been calling.

I have a hole in my heart that you've occupied now
Said that you'd help me, but the question is...how?

I know that I love know, I know that you care,
But sometimes I need more than whats always there.

I try fighting against it, but I always go weak,
And I need you to be there, when i can no longer speak.

I understand why you'd leave; I know it's hard to see.
And I can't tell you how sorry I am, for being a person like me.