Numb

Sick of crying, sick of pain
Don't want to hear those words again
I'm not alone, why say I am
Stop digging, I don't want to.

I don't want to.

The scabs were formed and now they're bare
I'd patched me up with loving care
Found a niche where I could sit
And now you've gone and ruined it.
You seem to enjoy, though, breaking me down,
You found a weakness and went to town.
You raged inside me, careered about,
Leaving holes with room for self doubt.

Self hate with no balance is a dangerous thing.
Oh, there are no thoughts of death or self harming,
I'm quite cheerful most of the time, you'll find,
But there's a funny nothing going round in my mind.
A nothing that's charming.
Disarming my terror.
I like it.
But it's not altogether good for me.